Summer

So... I know this is all my fault but I still wish it was different. I am twenty and my fiance is almost twenty one and we will both be twenty one when we get married. Why is it so hard to pay for everything that comes along with a wedding? I want a barn wedding....Well there goes at least $3000.00 for just the venue. I want beautiful pictures... Well there goes at least $2000.00 just for the wedding day not to mention boudoir or engagement pictures. I have two other friends that have gotten married in the last two years and they could afford the wedding. I already asked a friend to be my bridesmaid and another to be my maid of honor but I have one friend that is being extremely rude to me because she did not get maid of honor. She was going to be my bridesmaid but she was unsure if she even wanted to be in my wedding because she is too hurt..... So there goes about eighty bucks that I spent on her personalized necklace...

 As you all know, I quit my job to start In Junk We Trust. Don't get me wrong, that is my dream and I would be thrilled to be able to do that for a living but right now I am having a hard time finding things to sell, despite everyone telling me that I have a house full and a garage full of things I can sell. Those would be called my possessions and I sold/ donated pretty much everything I was going to use to buy and sell when I decided not to do that last year. Not to mention that my idiot temper of mine got in the way and in a little mishap with the laptop, bed, and phone of mine I ended up with a broken screen on the laptop and a phone that pretty much doesn't work. It is pretty hard to buy and sell on Etsy.com if I do not have a computer. You might just say, go buy a new laptop. I really want to but I would have to fork out a lot of cash to get a new one and that worries me because I have no job. Maybe this all just scares me because I am afraid of failure. So as we go along thinking about the cost of everything it seems that I am either going to have to choose to have a nice wedding or officially kick In Junk We Trust into full gear.  

 To top things off, I told myself that I was going to be 'summer ready' a long time ago but I think that since I quit my job, I have gained weight. I noticed that my one and only pair of jeans is ripping and I cannot find any pants that fit me at the stores. What a complete confidence my life is... Not to mention that my fiance said that he would work out and go on a diet with me and so what does he do? He brings home ice cream and chips and salsa. If any of you have advice, please leave me a comment. It would be much appreciated! Thank you all for reading.